Shanghai Tech Writer

My brother sent me this list of “describe your own job in one sentence,” taken from the Dilbert Blog. I especially like the one about technical writers (at the bottom).

• Read things that don’t matter, then write papers saying they do matter, for points that don’t matter, in order to get a job doing something totally unrelated: Student
• Take numbers on pieces of paper, rearrange them and put them on different pieces of paper: Tax Accountant
• Learn laws created ages ago so that I can tell engineers why I’m smarter than they are while complaining how it’s a travesty that they get paid more: Physics major
• Teach your kids enough to complain but not enough to make a difference: College Teacher
• Stand on a field and get yelled at for hours: Baseball Umpire
• Manage waste recycling, promotion & sales: Antiques Dealer
• Draw up plans for something that will not be built according to those plans: Civil Engineer, Transportation Designer
• Do all the tasks nobody else wants to do: Admin Assistant
• Go to strange people’s houses and take their money: Pizza Delivery Boy
• Take a simple two-way promise and turn it into several complicated one-way promises which neither side can understand or hope to fulfill: Lawyer
• Have people spend far more than they estimated: Building Inspector
• Make sure nothing ever happens: IT Security
• Repeatedly fix what you repeatedly break: IT Director
• Help people hate each other: Divorce Lawyer
• Talk in other people’s sleep: College Professor
• Copy and paste the Internet: Student
• Spend most of the day looking out the window: Pilot
• Run away and call the police: Security Guard
• Sell magic potions filled with psychotherapy: Bartender
• Write words that no one wants to read: Technical Writer

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